Such a blur.

My days have been passing in a blur.

I changed my bedsheets today. Took a shower. It’s so hot these days.

How did we survive these heatwaves as kids? We didn’t even have air conditioners back then. I’m just so flabbergasted when I think back on my life and see how much it has changed. How much it has moved.

How different I am.

And yet, I am just the same. I find myself aching for winter nights and sweaters and candles and fairy lights.

Life has been such a blur since 2020.

The trees look different. The streets too. I find myself aching for a home I don’t know where to find.

I find myself dreaming of mountains and the waterfalls we’d find along the way. Sitting outside in the sun on our chatai and just waiting for the days to pass us by.

I miss so much. But I’m so grateful that I got to have those moments in my life.

Life has been such a blur lately.

Filled with the bluest blues. I lost myself somewhere in the chaos. I’m processing life these days. Processing the days that have come to pass, the grief that I had buried somewhere deep amongst the trees for safekeeping.

I’ve been digging these days. Digging for memories and experiences I know I’ve had but don’t remember anymore. I’m letting my self wake up more and more these days.

I keep falling back but I’m not stopping.

Life has been such a blur lately, but I’ve found myself stopping to consciously take that breath more often. I’ve found myself stopping consciously to take a sip of water. I have found myself stopping consciously to trudge back into the misty forest of grief that I planted in my mind. Life has been such a blur lately, but I’ve found myself trying to match my steps with my breaths now.

If you find yourself here with me lost in this blur, hi. It’s so good to finally meet you.

Let’s find ourselves in this chaos together? Say yes?